Wanted Body Glide and Samual L. Jackson

Today I melted like a cheesy fondue. I’m not kidding. I was almost liquefied in the middle of a parking lot. I am right smack in the middle of training for this crazy half marathon and it is blazing hot outside. I’ve been getting up early to run, but today was Saturday and I got lost in the CMT awards I DVR’ed from last week.   I finally peeled myself off the couch and headed out to the trail for a seven miler at about 9:30 and that was way too late.  This is me after 7.6 miles today.

I told you so! I put this completely unflattering picture of myself up to make a point. If you are going to run in hot weather, there are a few things you’re going to need that I did not have today.

1. Body Glide- snazzy little deodorant looking tube that keeps your flabby bits from rubbing together. Rub it on and there’s no bra or thigh chaffing (or arm band, that’s what kills me). I am completely without any of this right now and I’ve got the burns to prove it.

2. Water- seems like a no brainer, but sometimes I have no brain. You need a lot of water if you are going to do a long run in over 90 degree weather. I suggest bottles on a belt or at least a handheld water bottle. Nathan is a good brand. I run with the Sprint sometimes.

But really in this kind of heat for that kind of distance I need to step it up.

I just can’t really see myself wearing that thing. It looks like something a Storm Trooper would wear. There really is no fashion in running. I used to think runners dressed like dorks, but now I know they just didn’t have any options.

3. Energy gels- I like to use Clif Shots every 45 minutes or so on a really long run. Today I went with the Clif blocks which are like gummy bears without the cute bear shape. They stuck to my teeth and made my mouth taste like I was drooling sugar. Which would probably be ok if I had some water…

The shots are made of organic brown rice syrup. They don’t taste bad. They have about 100 calories, plenty to get you through the next leg of your run. These flavors look amazing. My local stores only carry vanilla and strawberry. This makes me sad.

I also recommend some moisture wicking clothing. It really does make a difference. On days like today, I even run in those ridiculously short (and ugly) running shorts. Again, tossing fashion out the window for coolness and comfort. 

All in all I wouldn’t count today as a fail. I actually overshot my seven miles by about half a mile. The man that zoomed past me pushing a kid in a stroller depressed me a little until I saw him turn around long before I did. I did not die of heat stroke. And I think the mileage may cancel out the steak and baked potato I’m getting ready to devour.

I promise a non-running related blog soon. I really just wanted a reason to show you all this pic I took today just as I was headed back to the enormous man-truck I am still driving.

Holy heart attack! I almost stepped directly on that thing! It was stretched across the trail. I’m not going to lie to you, I took three giant steps back and stood there dumbfounded because I didn’t know how to get around it. I had visions of me stepping around it and then it goes all crazy on me. I’m picturing the movie Anaconda. I’m picturing giant fangs and having to find some innocent bystander to suck the venom out of me. I’m thinking Snakes on a Plane. I’m crying out for Samuel L. Jackson. 

 In retrospect, I think it was some type of garter snake, completely harmless. When I pulled myself together, I simply walked around it. But it COULD have been dangerous. I mean, possibly. Ok, I was just being a big wimp. I know.