What kind of daughter would I be if I didn’t blog about my mother today? In case you live in a cave, it’s Mother’s Day. Here’s the thing, she’s a pretty private person so I don’t think she would want me to tell you a lot about her. So instead I’ll tell you about a few things I learned from her.
When I was a teenager, I used to think it was awful when I was on the bench at a basketball game and I would look across the court to see my mother sitting exactly the same way as me. We would cross our legs and rest our chin on our hands. Now I know that any type of grace or poise I may possess came directly from her.
A while back, Jon washed his brand new iPhone in his pants pocket. He came to me pretty embarrassed about it, knowing I would be mad. I laughed a little and then researched how to dry out an iPhone. (You can’t, by the way, I had to buy a new one.) My mom taught me that possessions are just things that can be replaced, but relationships can’t always be mended when you break them. You can’t take your words or actions back. You can always buy a new phone.
When my nephews were little, my mother took them to the beach. I won’t dive into the whole story, but they got stranded and had to walk several miles back to the house. There they were on the side of the road, carrying their little sea shell buckets with cars whizzing by. My mom didn’t whine or fuss or panic. She told them they were “having an adventure” and she meant it. When Jon and I found ourselves on a catamaran in Jamaica during the biggest thunderstorm I had ever seen, he was plotting our escape route while I was thanking God for the adventure.
When I lost my baby last January, I struggled for a few days and then got busy living again. I’ve never questioned or wallowed in self pity. I made a choice to be strong and not let the sadness swallow me. I didn’t question why because my mother told me that sometimes there really is no reason. I never felt sorry for crying, because my mom said sometimes it’s ok to just be sad. Mom’s really do know best, you know. Her life has had many trials, but they don’t define her. This will not define me.
Once we got lost on or way from Florida to Georgia. We knew we were lost because we saw a sign that announced we were entering Central Time Zone. It took hours to get back on track. My mom just laughed and laughed. She said, “Well, we made a memory.” I’ve heard that line more times than I can count and have said it more than I’m willing to admit. Everything you do with the ones you love will be remembered. You decide whether they remember it with laughter or tears.
I could go on about the things my mom has taught me, but the best lessons (how to treat people, how to survive a difficult time, how to show someone you love them, how to be strong, how to dedicate yourself to something, how to be honest even when it’s hard, how to see the positive, how to trust in God) she taught me when she didn’t realize I was looking. Thanks Mom.
**Just a side note: If you have someone in your life that has lost a baby or is having trouble conceiving, someone who wants to be a mom but it just hasn’t worked out yet, give them an extra hug today. We would never want to take anything away from the mothers of the world, but this day can be pretty hard for us. I picked a fight over a mango with my husband today, just to have a valid reason to be mad. (He was awesome enough to realize what was at the root of it, and let me cry until I felt better. Then he laughed at me and called me a Looneybirdicus Americanus. Yep, he did.) Happy Mother’s Day.